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<blockquote data-quote="Deleted Member 44" data-source="post: 33272" data-attributes="member: 44"><h2>How to interact / deal with an overly-flirty SEI/ISFp?</h2>Asking for a friend, mostly.A female IEE friend messaged me yesterday asking how to &quot;safely&quot; deal with a mutual male SEI friend of ours. Avoid him? Trust him? Battle him to the death with lightsabers? She said she was asking me because I probably knew him best and she trusts me.Which leads me to some backstory: Three-ish years ago I befriended this SEI and on and off for about a year and a half he flirted with me and showed me special attentions. I found him easy to talk to and after awhile I started wondering if there was more than friendship. After a certain point, I decided I really needed to know because the limbo was getting painful. So I asked him, &quot;Is there something going on between us?&quot; and he said, &quot;I don't know. Maybe? I really like spending time with you.&quot; He asked if it was ok if we left things open ended and foolishly I said yes. A couple of months later I decided, no, it wasn't ok, and told him as much. He said, ok, let's try out this dating thing, but after one date he said he &quot;wasn't ready for a relationship.&quot; I felt hurt and pulled back. A couple of months later he was in a relationship with another girl (probably ESE). That hurt me a lot. Less than a year after that she broke up with him (and now is currently happily married to another mutual friend who I think is LII).For a long time I could barely look at much less interact gracefully with SEI, and to this day there is a strain between us.Since that point in time, I have personally encountered at least 6 different women who have confided similar experiences, though most of them have been to lesser degrees than my situation. And I know of even more women who have experienced the same.Part of the problem is that he comes across (and believes himself to be) genuinely caring and kind to everyone.So, how do you think should I advise this new poor young woman? Should I smack the SEI / take him by the shoulders and gently shake him? Etc.(Also, I think it's weird that she thinks I know him the best, because for almost 2 years he and I have barely talked...)</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Deleted Member 44, post: 33272, member: 44"] [HEADING=1]How to interact / deal with an overly-flirty SEI/ISFp?[/HEADING] Asking for a friend, mostly. A female IEE friend messaged me yesterday asking how to "safely" deal with a mutual male SEI friend of ours. Avoid him? Trust him? Battle him to the death with lightsabers? She said she was asking me because I probably knew him best and she trusts me. Which leads me to some backstory: Three-ish years ago I befriended this SEI and on and off for about a year and a half he flirted with me and showed me special attentions. I found him easy to talk to and after awhile I started wondering if there was more than friendship. After a certain point, I decided I really needed to know because the limbo was getting painful. So I asked him, "Is there something going on between us?" and he said, "I don't know. Maybe? I really like spending time with you." He asked if it was ok if we left things open ended and foolishly I said yes. A couple of months later I decided, no, it wasn't ok, and told him as much. He said, ok, let's try out this dating thing, but after one date he said he "wasn't ready for a relationship." I felt hurt and pulled back. A couple of months later he was in a relationship with another girl (probably ESE). That hurt me a lot. Less than a year after that she broke up with him (and now is currently happily married to another mutual friend who I think is LII). For a long time I could barely look at much less interact gracefully with SEI, and to this day there is a strain between us. Since that point in time, I have personally encountered at least 6 different women who have confided similar experiences, though most of them have been to lesser degrees than my situation. And I know of even more women who have experienced the same. Part of the problem is that he comes across (and believes himself to be) genuinely caring and kind to everyone. So, how do you think should I advise this new poor young woman? Should I smack the SEI / take him by the shoulders and gently shake him? Etc. (Also, I think it's weird that she thinks I know him the best, because for almost 2 years he and I have barely talked...) [/QUOTE]

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